The funny thing about tweens is, they are the reason we lose it, and the reason we hold it together.
Things you can say to your tween
“Tell me more.”
“What do you need right now to help support you?”
“It seems like what you are saying is ____________ (repeat word for word what they are saying).”
“It sounds like you are feeling ______________ (angry, frustrated, upset, etc). I can see how that would make you angrytry to empathize here).”
Pick a time to talk when your tween is no longer angry and when you are no longer angry.
Seek to understand instead of trying to be understood. Use active listening by saying things like:
Strategies to try at home
Staying calm will be tricky, but you will be modeling to your tween that it is possible to stay calm. Timing is everything. Pick a time you are both calm.
Anger can be triggered by certain needs like being hungry, tired, sick, or emotions like lonely or anxious.
Anger is a natural emotion. Teach your tween what to do when they get angry.