Teens

10 Tips for Parenting

1. Listen

Try the indirect approach. When you sit down, without any questions, and just listen, your child is more likely to open up and give you the information that you're seeking. 

 

Tip: Sometimes, you can use this time to give advice, but try not to step in and solve all their problems at once.

2. Step-back 

When there is a triggering event, your teen may experience an unpleasant feeling. Teaching our child to pause and think before acting, and to consider how their best self would react, is essential. Try the RULER approach (Recognize Emotion, Understanding Emotion, Labeling Emotion, Expressing Emotion, Regulating Emotion). Click the Learn More to dive deeper into the RULER approach and to learn about the 6 S's. 

3. BE their Calm Place

When your child is upset because they weren't invited to the sleepover, or saw friends hanging out without them on social media, continue to be their source of calm. Instead of overreacting and jumping in to solve their problem, keep the drama to a minimum by not adding fuel to their flame. Resist the urge to talk to the parents of the teen involved and resist talking to (or about) the teen. 

4. Ask Them What They Need

Acknowledging their feelings and providing a sense of empathy switches the situation so that your teen is more willing to communicate. 

5. Provide Visual Supports

Use posters or pictures with problem-solving steps or routines. Use color-coded schedules and folders. For homework support, try the Get Ready, Do, Done strategy.

6. Offer them Choices

Your child is trying to develop a sense of autonomy. By offering them two choices, they feel a sense of independence. 

Example: Do you want to clean your room before dinner or after. 

7. Invite them to ask questions

Talk openly about the things they are experiencing. If you don't know the answer to something, pause the conversation and get back to them. Having these ongoing conversations helps your teen feel comfortable, which will make them want to reach out to you even more. Be aware of your own awkward feelings. It can come off as closed off, and your teen might feel embarrassed for asking. 

8. Time Together

It's often difficult to get your Teen to open up and talk. Schedule time to be with your child. It's important that you are providing undivided attention where you both are not working or on your device. Providing these interpersonal skills will benefit your Teen in the future. 

9. Mood Meter

Recognizing and understanding how to best meet your teen's needs can be tricky. Try using a Mood Meter. This color-coded chart is a great way to graph their feelings based on your teens energy and pleasantness level. For more on Mood Meter click here

10. Post a Daily Schedule

Clear and consistent routines and procedures offer a much needed structure for your teen. 

Ex: After school activities (snack, homework, sports practice). 

 Disclaimer: The resources and ideas found on this website are all research-based and vetted with a parent and educator lens. The tools listed have worked for our children; however, each child is different. This list is not exhaustive and is a compilation of ideas and strategies to try at home.  No information on this website should be used as medical advice. We are not clinical psychologists, but we do work alongside them as thought partners in this journey.